Edward ‘Big Balls” Coristine was a member of the team recruited by Elon Musk to do the actual work of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE). He remained in the administration when Musk parted ways with Trump, and continues to live and work in Washington DC as a government employee.
On August 3, 2025, between 3:01 a.m. and 4:20 a.m. (according to the police report), Coristine was assaulted in an attempted carjacking in Washington, D.C. while out with a female friend. The alleged attackers were juveniles, and in statement, Coristine stated that he had been physically assaulted by them as he resisted, leading to some injuries on his part. Trump immediately seized on this to support his narrative that DC was lawless and criminal (in fact, stats show crime at a thirty-year low), leading to some speculating that the entire event had been faked to drum up support for Trump’s claims.
